I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
