How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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