How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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