i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
