i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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