I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
