The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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