Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize