i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
