I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
