yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
