talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize