As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
