have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
