Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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