what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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