So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
