You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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