No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
