There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Can Purell be used as lube?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
