Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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