I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
