How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
