You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
