Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
