i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
