I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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