How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
