You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
