I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
