I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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