That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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