just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize