I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
