his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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