I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
