what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
