And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
