his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
