I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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