k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
