All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
