Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
