his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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