i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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