Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How's work?
Spinning.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize