soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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