sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Randomize
