No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
