So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
