it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize