Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
