so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
