Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
