glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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