Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
