HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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