had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
