You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
