Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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