Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I deserve to be covered in dicks
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
